This Great Society - Creative Writing



Illustration: Jim Boraas

Steve Castro: Minnows
Illustration: Jim Boraas

I used to keep insomniac minnows inside a 40 oz. beer bottle. I mainly fed them pretzel crumbs, but their eyes became glazed when I fed them chunks of tuna. I had an alcoholic friend who was a vegan.

                                               “He died sober.”

That is what I want on my tombstone, he often told me. I was convinced that my alcoholic friend’s epitaph would read, “He died of malnutrition.”

I used to keep violent minnows inside an Oster blender in order to teach them discipline. When they misbehaved, I plugged in the blender and that would calm them down. Once, they all simultaneously gave me dirty looks, so I squirted a little dish soap into the water and they all died, except for “Sushi.” One drunken Halloween, I took “Sushi” out of her water cage. I fitted her into a miniature water proof dolphin suit. I then took a picture. She had this bewildered look that seemed to say, “I am too cute to be ridiculed in this manner.” Of course, with cuteness comes pregnancy. I soon had more minnows than I could shake a reed at.


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